I'm crying now...

Magnus came back for a visit.

He pulled me into a room and ordered me to play chess with him. He plays Andy every time he comes to visit us, but he never asked me to play.

I had him beat after five moves, and he didn't even know it. All I had to do was go through the motions.

But then I saw something that scared me so badly. He reached out for his queenside rook and I saw his forearm. It was covered with scars... and cuts that were only partially bandaged. I knew Magnus was scary, but this was crazy.

Then I looked in his eyes. I knew right then, if I won the game, he might kill me.

I ended it as quickly as possible. Andy was there, slapping Magnus on the shoulder and laughing at me. I bowed and hurried out of the room. I don't think I'll sleep much tonight.

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My Dreams

I hate dreams.

Ever since I began working as a geneticist, I have had nightmares. I dream of dolls, with animal parts. I dream of impossible creatures, some Frankenstein monsters that try to kill me over and over... even through I know in my heart that I have created these monsters myself.
Even though the work I do will help thousands of people every year, help them receive new organs, get a chance at a new life, it scares me too. I can zip and unzip strands of DNA to create new life. I can combine the DNA of different...

I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this here. If Klaus knew what I was doing here, he would fire me... or worse.

But I know one reason I have these dreams. Because I have never made the time to have a family. Instead of a baby I dream of monsters. One day though, maybe I will have a baby. I can ask mr. colding to ... no, you dirty minds. I only need his DNA. I could hide things until it was too late for anyone to stop me. I am a big woman. I doubt anyone would notice me until I am ready to have the baby. HA HA

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The Police

I never listened to music much growing up. Not American music anyways. So I haven't had much experience with rock and roll. But mr. colding likes to show me things. It's like I'm a project for him... to make me more human and less geneticist (ha ha).

mr. colding knew I was still in a bad mood about Magnus, so he had me stay in the common room tonight and watch the beginning of The Grammies. He had me watch the band called The Police play a song. Apparently they were very famous for a few years and then broke up because they couldn't get along well enough to stick together. mr. colding told me the three men in the band used to fight all the time... just like me and claus and claudette.

I think mr. colding was trying to make an analogy; like us three are capable of doing great things together, even though we fight all the time. I hope he is right.

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Bad DAY

Magnus lied to Claus about not coming. He came in like a tornado on Bobby's helicopter. I like Bobby. He and mister colding seem to be good friends. Andy the A-double-hole acted like he ran the lab, which irritated everyone, me included. I wish Andy had just stayed in his play room and left us alone. He actually did after Magnus gave him a present: a Playstation 3.

But it only got worse for me. Magnus hovered over me for at least an hour. He doesn't understand a word I say, due to my accent and the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about genetics. At one point he had his giant hands on the back of my chair while Claus was explaining why we... why we have only reached the point we are at in our work, and he pulls up on the back of my chair so hard I came up off the ground! I looked up at him, was going to tell him to stop, but his eyes scared me so. I ran out of the lab and came to my room. I cried until mister colding stopped in and told me Magnus had left. He brought me a doctor pepper too. He is so nice to me.

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Heroes! (and relief)

Again I get to see my favorite show Heroes tonight. Hiro is in trouble... his Dad showed up at the end of last week's episode, and he doesn't seem to be very happy with Hiro's mission. (sort of like my Dad... he disowned me when I came to America).

I didn't think I was going to get to see Heroes at all, with Magnus coming. But he has canceled his trip I guess. rhumkorff told me not to worry about it. I smile now.

Bye now. siler (silar) has escaped! I must go watch.

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Super Bowl

They are playing the super football bowl tonight. I like the one that throws the ball for the white shirted team.

I see it is raining very hard. They keep talking about the football being slick and slippery. They make footballs out of cow hide, right? I told mr. colding I think I can genetically engineer a cow that would produce tackier leather. He just laughed. I like it when he laughs. He laughs with me, not at me.

Magnus is supposed to visit next week, to tour our facility. He is the only man that scares me more than Claus. He is so huge. He played football, but not in the American league that has the super bowl.

At least tonight we have the football game. I'll worry about Magnus later.

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